Lost Childhood
by WaterlooRoadFanForever
Summary: This is a follow up to my story Forbidden Love about the abuse Barry endured from his father Neil Barry
1. Chapter 1 - The First Beating

This story is a follow up from 'Forbidden Love' where Barry's abuse by his father was briefly mentioned, this story focuses on what happened to Barry before Neil was send to Jail and might contain references to 'Forbidden Love'. This story is for BoomItsKerry who requested it.

Lost Childhood

Chapter 1 - The First Beating

I was sat on the sofa watching a horror film it was a Saturday so mum had said I could stay up a bit longer with I didn't object too. I was 10 years old and just starting to get into horror films.

Mum was upstairs asleep and so was my older sister Dynasty who was 12 and my Younger sister Kacey who was 8.

It wasn't that late just gone eleven but it was winter so it was dark outside which gave the film an more scary appearance.

The scary music was starting and I was hiding under the covers scared of what he would find when he opened the door when I heard our own front door opening.

It could only have been dad but even so I carried on watching the film until he appeared in the doorway and he walked into the room looking angry.

'What the hell are you still doing up?'

I could smell the alcohol on his breathe from the sofa and I knew instantly I was in trouble as he was drunk and as if he wasn't violent enough when he was sober.

'I ASKED YOU A QUESTION'

'Mum said I could stay up and finish watching this film'

I was trying to make him happy I might act tough but even I couldn't deny that dad scared me.

He started walking toward me and then all of a sudden out of nowhere he started hitting and kicking me whilst I was still watching the film; he was very strong so I didn't even attempt to fight him off.

He was hitting me but then started to say things he said I was the 'runt of the litter' and a disappointment to the family and that I should of been drowned at birth.

I then made the huge mistake of answering back and it wasn't exactly polite

'Well at least I'm not some physco alcoholic that has to use violence to make himself heard'

That was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life

He walked toward the cupboard where we keep all of our toys and started looking around it, he then pulled out the baseball bat that Kacey had and came back over to me.

He started to hit me with it and I started to scream but all the time I was worried about waking my sisters.

After he had finished he walked out the door as if nothing had happened but told me to get to bed.

I ran upstairs before he could attack me again and jumped into my bed, I was sore all over but I didn't dare get up in case he was waiting for me, but I couldn't help it when I felt tears springing to my eyes and that was the first night I cried myself to sleep.

That was the first beating in a long line.


	2. Chapter 2 - Eveything Has Changed

Chapter 2 – Everything Has Changed

I woke up on Sunday and had never been in so much pain and I had to force myself out of bed and to the bathroom and it was only when I was going through my shower I noticed the bruises.

Big, black and blue bruises all over my body and there was no skin that had been left untouched, but I knew I had to act like nothing had happened.

I went out the bathroom and heard banging and my senses immediately made me defend myself but turning the corner I saw it was only my sister Kacey kicking her football against her bedroom door.

'Morning Bro'

She came over and like she did every morning gave me a hug and I usually love them but today I was trying not to scream in pain.

'That film must of being scary last night I heard you screaming'

I smiled and followed her downstairs for breakfast

Everyone was already sat down and Dynasty like always was applying her lip-gloss

She smirked at me 'Enjoyed the film did you?'

I just sat there playing with my cereal; dad was acting like nothing had happened but to be fair I don't even know if he remembers it.

'Why don't you and me go out for some father- son time son and let the girls here have a nice girly day in?

I lifted my head and looked at him, he was smirking and he knew that he had control of me.

'Erm I promised Kacey I would play footie with her'

'You can do that later'

He said it as a way of saying it was final and I had no choice but to agree.

When I got into his car he started driving but I was too scared to ask where he was going.

'I hope last night taught you a lesson'

So he did remember last night, in that moment all love I had felt for him went down the drain especially when he stopped the car and started on me again.

'HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO COME WITH ME'

He hit me round the head a few times and then finally let me leave, but from that day on everything could set him off and if only I had known things would get a lot worse and fast.


	3. Chapter 3 - Mental Abuse

Chapter 3 – Mental Abuse

It had been two weeks since the first beating and I had never being so scared, but one thing I was proud of was school.

This might be hard to believe but I wasn't always how I am now in fact I was a model student who never caused trouble and got brilliant grades.

Dynasty was in her first year of high school I was in year 5 and Kacey was in year 3 and we went to a local school in Liverpool.

I loved school I had a lot of friends but not because I caused trouble and on this particular day we were getting the grades back for work we had submitted that is going towards our SATS.

My teacher was called Miss Bamber and I loved her as she was very supportive, and when she handed me my work back I had got a 4 which is the highest grade there is and I was chuffed and knew I could make something of my life.

At the end of school I went to meet my sister to walk home (we lived up the street) and I showed her my grade whilst we were walking and playing football

'That's brill Baz'

We walked in through the front door and were surprised to see mum wasn't in

'She has gone out with a few friends' said dad whilst hugging Kace who then went upstairs to her room to watch 'the match'.

I thought dad picked on me because I annoyed him so showing him my work which was such a good grade should have made him happy.

'What's this?'

'I got the top grade dad'

He put his bottle of beer down and began reading it

'This is crappe and I don't know why you got that mark you're spelling is awful'

'They weren't really looking at the spelling'

He then did something that would change me forever. He ripped it up and threw it at me.

From that day on I could never get happy about a grade again and started to not even try at school or put the effort in as I knew even if my work was oxford standard it would not have been good enough.

My grades dropped drastically in a short space of time but this would only make dad angrier I just couldn't win with him.


	4. Chapter 4 - Daily Torture

Chapter 4 – Daily Torture 

The beatings would happen when I least expected but they would not happen all the time. But soon they would happen every day.

Dad had started to go to the pub every evening and whenever he got home he would sneak into my room and beat me to a pulp.

I didn't mind if my sisters or mum were not being hurt but soon it would get worse, as he would find excuses to keep me in with him alone by telling the girls they needed alone time or something along those lines.

He would then beat me when the old bruises had not even had a chance to recover I felt victimised as he did not treat anyone else like this and that is when my character started to change and I became how Barry is today.

Dad use to beat me with anything he could find and the worse thing was he loved it as he used to smile and laugh whilst doing it and said he was 'the man of the house.' Dad had also totally rejected me he would only speak to me if he had to the rest of the time he would beat me.

It was torture every time and he never showed any remorse, the things he would do would get crueller by the day.

Like one time he caught me watching an episode of SpongeBob square pants where he gets his tooth pulled out by tying it too the door. Dad then waited till everyone was out and dragged me to the kitchen.

'Think it was funny did you?'

He then tied my tooth to the door and pulled it out when it hadn't even of being wobbly, I was in agony but knew if I complained it would make it ten times worse.

Other times he used to burn me with cigarettes and matches, this was not only complete torture but it would leave marks on my skin forever.

The worst time was when he threw me out the ground floor window sure it wasn't high but when I landed on the pavement my body broke.

My family had no idea what was going on and I now seemed to always be taken to the hospital for broken bones, arms, legs, shoulder, but mum thought it was just me being rough as I was a boy.

I knew I could never speak the truth not only would dad murder me (literally) but it would break mum's heart if she even believed me and my sisters were too innocent to have something like this happen to them they were both achieving and loved dad I couldn't take that away from them.


	5. Chapter 5 - Starting To Change

Chapter 5 – Starting to Change

The way I had being treated made something inside me change and too this day I cannot tell you what it was.

I started to get an attitude problem in my first year of high school I couldn't help it I had lost respect for everyone and everything as I felt neglected in the way this was allowed to happen to me though of course no one knew.

I walked into my lesson 20 minutes late as I had being smoking outside. I had started smoking to calm my nerves and it helped a lot. My teacher was asking me where I had being and why I was late, I usually would have told the truth and face the consequences but the words came spilling out before I could stop them.

'Shut up you stupid old hag, mind your own business'

That was the first time I got send to the heads but at that moment in time I didn't care.

'Have you being smoking?'

'No'

'Yes you have I can smell it all over you'

I shrugged my shoulders to show I didn't care and I started to play up so I did get detentions after school and have an excuse not to go home without anyone suspecting everything because then at least I was away from my dad.

I also had started to steal as I obviously was not old enough to buy alcohol, drinking and smoking helped numb the pain and I didn't exactly say no to drugs either.

Dad had changed me everyone had noticed it especially my family, I used to love to help and try do good but now anything could make me snap and though I hated it I hurt people but I was hurting so much inside.

'Please can we play footie Baz?'

'I SAID NO KACEY'

She looked at me and ran upstairs crying, our relationship was different as was mine and Dynasty's.

I hated the whole world and I hated dad but the thing I hated most was myself I started acting out to get attention to get noticed and hoped that one day someone would find out my dreadful secret.

I used to not care about looks or anything like that but I started to change my appearance as well as my personality, and dating girls that were twice my age as I just wanted to be loved. I can't even remember the name of the girl I lost my virginity to as I was that out of it at the time and I was only eleven.

I couldn't think straight anymore, everything I thought about seemed wrong and I had no one to empower me to move forward my life was flying past and I had done nothing with it.

And Until I got away from him I could not move forward.


	6. Chapter 6 - Cutting, Suicide and Torture

Chapter 6 – Cutting, Suicide and Torture 

My life had changed for the worse and I had so many built up emotions that I did not know how to deal with.

If I was not beat I found it a privilege, and for a while I would go back to my old self but the anger was always boiling inside me ready to spill at any moment.

I first started cutting after yet another beating, because I figured I was worthless so no one would care and me having pain that was self-inflicted made me feel better about what dad was doing too me.

The first time I cut was when I was in the bathroom hiding from dad who was after me and I noticed the razor on the counter; I grabbed it and in a fit of rage slid it down my arm at first it looked like nothing had happened until the unbearable pain started.

I was silently screaming as blood trickled down my arm, I can't stand blood either so I felt faint but it didn't stop me making another mark on my arm.

I sat behind the door as I waited for it to stop bleeding and there was so much blood I thought it never would.

From that day on I use to cut everyday and had to start wearing long sleeves all the time so that no -one would notice the bandages that now covered my arms all the time as I couldn't deal with the questions.

I was also extremely suicidal; because I just wanted the pain too end.

The first time I tried to hang myself but the string wasn't attached properly, the second time I did end up in hospital as I took an overdose but mum thought I had done it accidently and the last time, I tried to cut myself really deep so I bleed too much but Dynasty caught me at it but she thought I was just being awkward.

I know now my family would miss me but sometimes I think they would be better off without me, there would be no one to ruin things for Dynasty and Kacey and I wouldn't be causing trouble at every opportunity I got. I get in the way most of the time anyway.

I always had a way to commit suicide on hand if I ever felt the need too, I might not have succeeded but I always tried to cause myself pain for example when playing footie with Kace getting hit in the face with the ball and punching walls and glass till my knuckles bled, I beat myself up as well by throwing myself against the wall hard, I would find any way to torture myself as I felt I deserved it and I wasn't worth anything so should be caused pain, I used to punch myself in the mouth as well, until my jaw was cracked, I used to burn myself with lighters and cigarettes, I used to pull my hair as hard as I could until chunks came out, I would find any way to hurt myself and by the time I was 16 had been in hospital over 300 times.


	7. Chapter 7 - Becoming Violent

This Chapter is for one of my long term followers and friends SugarPrincess42 as she is not feeling very well, I hope this cheers you up xx.

Chapter 7 – Becoming Violent

I did not believe in violence I never had but I found the more the abuse continued the angrier I became and before long I was lashing out.

The first time I lashed out I was sat next to my friend Aaron in class when he asked if he could borrow a pencil and when I didn't reply he leaned over to grab it

'GET OFF'

I stood up and smacked him in the face, and though I hate to admit it seeing someone else hurt made me feel better about my situation.

I got detention for a week for violent behaviour

After that day I kept ending up in fights over the silliest things and the problem was I always ending up physically assaulting the person, this started with pupils but soon went on to teachers.

I walked past a girl and asked her what time it was she shrugged her shoulders so I pinned her against the wall and punched her in the face, I was repeating all the things my dad said to me.

The school did not know why I was behaviouring like this but thought it was 'learned behaviour' but of course when they questioned Dynasty she said that dad had never hit us. If only she knew.

The next incident was when I slapped a teacher because she had been helping someone else and I was kept waiting, I felt left out even though she was going to come around the class but I couldn't wait as I needed the attention so I stood up and started shouting at her. I felt upset and angry and I didn't even know why.

'I SAID I NEED HELP BITCH'

She turned around and gave me the kind of look my dad gave me when he was attacking me and the next thing I knew I had her pinned on the floor and was beating her up in the middle of the class.

'BARRY BARRY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' Shouted a teacher called Mr Brown as he came and pulled me off her and got a punch in the face himself as I was total out of control and he had to half carry me to the office.

That day was the first time I got suspended for a week and it certainly wouldn't be the last because by the time I was 17 I would of dragged both my sisters down with me and we would all have been already expelled from two schools and suspended countless times.

Dad knew exactly what he was doing to me and that with every hit he was destroying me a little bit more inside, the teachers started to become scared of me or what I would do if they acted wrong so stopped helping me or showing me any attention.

This is the behaviour that if I continue by the time I am 18 I will be in jail.


	8. Chapter 8 - The Gun

This Chapter is based on Series 8 Episode 16 when Barry is talking to Kacey about finding the gun in the shed and Neil giving him a beating for it.

Chapter 8 – The Gun

It was a Sunday morning and I woke up and went downstairs and then spend a good hour playing football with Kace as usual.

The football net we had was years old and the string was ripping of it so I decided to go to the shed in the garden where I knew there was spare string to fix it with.

I walked out the back door, it had been raining heavily the night before so the mud in the grass was wet and I knew mum would be annoyed at my muddy shoes later but I still continued to walk until I reached our shed.

The shed was old, it had been there since before Dynasty was born, the paint was peeling off it and the door always got stuck. We hardly ever went in the shed as we don't keep a lot in it.

I opened the door and used a piece of wood to bolt it open so I didn't get trapped in the shed and then fiddled around for the light switch, I turned on the light and screamed, the place as usual was covered in spiders and I have always hated the things but especially when they are right above your head.

I started looking for the string but it was still quite dark even with the light on, but eventually I found some at the back of one of the shelves, I was just about to leave and go fix the net when something caught my eye at the back of the shelf. I didn't know what it was but it was wrapped in yellow cloth and looked suspicious. I lifted it of the shelf and was surprised at the weight of it, curious I started to unwrap the cloth and that was when I found the gun.

Being a child of 11 it was fascinating to me, so I picked it up to see if it was real and saw not only was it real but it was also loaded, I started to touch it noticing how cold it was and wondered how it had got here as it looked like someone was trying to conceal it, because it might of had fingerprints on.

I then wrapped it back up in the cloth and along with the string took it inside, telling Kacey I was going to the bathroom I then took it to my room and left it there to look at later. After fixing the net for Kacey I ran back up the stairs to have a look at the gun but stupidly didn't think about locking the door.

I was just looking at it when dad suddenly burst into my room and let's just say caught me red-handed.

'WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?'

'I found it in the shed'

'SO YOU JUST TOOK IT?'

'I'm only looking at it, I wonder how it got there though as it was well hidden'

'YOU MORON IT'S MINE'

'Erm why do you have a gun? it will be best to hand it to the police'

He didn't answer and then walked up to me and snatched it out my hands before I could object.

What will your mum say if she knew about this?'

'Mum doesn't know?'

'OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T FLAMING KNOW'

His eyes were black he always looked like that just before he attacked me and now hI was in trouble as he was ARMED.

I grabbed the pillow on my bed and hid it over my face, but I removed it when I heard a loud clang.

Dad had dropped the gun on the floor and was walking toward me he started to beat me talking about how I could have got him send to jail.

He carried on hitting me and then once he had finished he grabbed me by the collar and shouted

'DON'T TOUCH MY THINGS AGAIN GOT THAT?'

I nodded as tears ran out my eyes; he then picked up the gun again and walked out of the room.

I don't know why dad had the gun but I did know that now he had a new way to threaten me and from that day I hated guns.


	9. Chapter 9 - Innocence Shattered

Chapter 9 – Innocence Shattered

Dad never hit me in front of his precious girls he always waited till we were alone, not that I complained it was not for my sisters eyes.

I loved Dynasty but my little sister was my life, if my dad ever tried to hurt her I would not have to think twice about using the gun on him.

I was 15 now and had been abused for years and it was only a couple of weeks before dad would get send down.

Kace was playing football as normal, it was her favourite thing to do but it annoyed dad as he thought she should be more like Dynasty.

He had told her countless times not to play it and start acting like a proper girl for once in her life and on this particular day dad was angry as he and mum had had a fight as she had found out about his drug dealing.

He was drunk when he came out into the garden and started to shout at Kace she was super stubborn like the rest of us and carried on playing football to annoy him, dad was losing patience I could tell.

Kacey was 13 now and like must teenagers loved to answer back and told dad to stop being a freak and let her play football.

He went for her but I grabbed her and pushed her aside, and once I saw she was safe I could take anything.

He grabbed me and asked me how I could dare to outsmart him in front of his daughter; I then made the mistake of kicking him in the shin.

He lost it and attacked me right in front of Kacey she was screaming at him to leave me alone, and when he didn't she ran inside and came back a moment later with Dynasty and mum.

'Neil what are you doing?'

He turned and looked at mum but his eyes were bloodshot

'HE DESERVES IT'

'Neil calm down'

Mum took his arm and led him away as both Dynasty and Kacey came to help me up, but both of them were destroyed they had seen everything.

They questioned me but I said it was a one off though it still didn't stop me crying myself to sleep, Kacey and Dynasty always flinched when dad tried to touch them now as they had been traumatised.

It was only three weeks later when dad got ten years for armed robbery on the bank and mum and my sisters were depressed for ages. I was happier than I had ever being and I thought with him gone I could get over it and move on but sadly it would not be so easy.


	10. Chapter 10 - Secret's Out

Chapter 10 – Secret's Out

It had been nearly two years since dad had been sent to prison, and we had been expelled from yet another school, Havelock so mum was making us move to this stupid new school in Scotland as dad had been moved to the prison there.

The school was called Waterloo Road and looked even worse than the last one, Dynasty got put in normal classes but I and Kace got put in the PRU.

I tried to behave but I just couldn't the girls had got over what they had seen. I hadn't. Sure dad was gone but he was always there torturing me, I had no confidence and everything I did hurt people, the old me had gone and would never return or so I thought.

There was something instantly different about this school, the teachers seemed to care and did not treat me like scum.

After yet another violent outburst on Jack McAllister (he is crazy I only slept with his mum for god's sake) the head of pastoral care wanted to get me in to talk about my feelings or some mumbo jumbo like that.

I made my way to her office and strangely felt nervous

'Hey Barry, I'm Miss Campbell'

She looked kind but then again looks don't mean anything.

She told me to sit down and started asking me loads of questions

'So your dad is in prison right?'

'Erm wat's that got to do with you?'

'I don't know where your attitude is from, but you best drop it' I just rolled my eyes.

'It must have been hard'

'No I'm glad he is gone he was a crazy physco'

'Your family seems to miss him'

I rolled my eyes and didn't respond, she got up to touch my shoulder in a comforting way but as a defence mechanism I instantly flinched and covered my head with my hands.

'DON'T TOUCH ME, NOT AGAIN'

I realized what I had said but it was too late

'Barry who has hurt you?'

'MAKE HIM STOP MISS'

'Who Barry?'

'MY DAD HAS BEEN ABUSING ME SINCE I WAS TEN'

I covered my mouth with my hand but the damage was done


	11. Chapter 11 - Breaking Down

Chapter 11 – Breaking Down

I couldn't help it when I broke down and cried, but Miss was talking

'It's ok Barry we are going to help you alright'

She walked to her desk and got out her phone and started talking to someone

'We need to get you to the nurse, and then the police will come and talk to you'

'What's the point he is already in jail'

'His sentence could be extended'

'NO, my family will hate me'

Suddenly Mr Clarkson who had enrolled us walked in

'Right do you want to talk about it?'

They were both looking at me with the same look on their faces. Pity.

I couldn't take it I ran out the classroom and ran as fast as I could, Clarkson was chasing me but I continued to run till I got out the school, and started walking around the park.

I arrived at a bench and sat down; I covered my face with my hands thinking I was shaking and sobbing.

Someone sat down next to me but it was only Clarkson who drove me back to school.

I went to the nurse's office and had to show her the bruises, it was sooooooooo awkward.

I was arranged to see a counsellor to not only get over the abuse but to stop causing harm to myself.

Dynasty, Kacey and mum all arrived they comforted me as I cried and mum started blaming herself, my sisters were upset as I have always being the strong one to them and now I was falling apart.

I was just sat there in silence I couldn't say what had happened it was too painful to think about let alone repeat. The police couldn't get anything out of me and said they will come back next week to take the statement again.

I was going to make a statement until later that night when the phone rang, I was nearest so I answered it (actually that's a lie but Dyns nails had to dry) I picked the phone up and dads voice rang out from the other side.

'WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT AN ABUSE ALLERGATION'

I gulped 'I am just telling it how it is'

'TELL THEM YOU WERE LYING, IF MY SENTANCE GETS EXTENDED BECAUSE OF YOU I WILL GET YOU'

'You're in prison how do you expect to do that'

'I HAVE MY WAYS'

'But they have already seen the bruises'

'THEN SAY YOU CAUSED THEM'

He hanged up and I knew I couldn't tell, I had to pretend I was lying.


	12. Chapter 12 - Rejected and Getting Worse

Chapter 12 – Rejected and Getting Worse

I did what dad asked and said I was lying this caused my family to reject me they didn't understand how I could of done that and they said it was low even for me.

The teachers gave me counselling to 'help me' apparently as they thought I was crazy, it didn't help at all I still injured myself and now that dad had an hold over me it was getting much worse.

I was currently in the toilets, holding a lighter I rolled up my sleeve and burned my arm it was agony but it made my worries go away even if it was for a few seconds.

I had got into trouble for lying as well Campbell had made me write an essay about how abuse affects people's lives and how stupid it is to lie about it. I didn't have to research it at all it was all from experience.

Visiting my dad was horrible but at least I could keep an eye on him when I went to visit him, mum and him had made it up and my sisters liked him again too, whenever we went to visit he would stare at me the whole time to make sure I didn't say or do anything that would drop him in it.

And before we left at the end of every visit he would whisper the same thing to me

'Tell anyone again and you will be the one I am armed with next time'

He meant it as well, I knew he wouldn't think twice about doing it he also said he was the man of the house not me even though he was in prison.

I couldn't take it anymore I had to end it which is how I ended up on the roof.


	13. Chapter 13 - Attempted Death

Chapter 13 – Attempted Death

I was on the roof, and I knew I was going to jump I couldn't take it anymore, I did jump of the roof and I remember hitting the floor before blacking out.

My sisters later told me that I didn't die as I wanted but I went into a coma for 3 months, Whilst I was in the coma I could hear everything my mum and sisters were saying but was unable to respond, hearing my sisters cry was torture and I wanted to comfort them.

When I did wake up I was in pain but I still refused to tell them why I had done what I had done, I could never win against dad no matter what, I was in just as much danger with him in prison then out of prison.

Going back to school was torture as everyone kept staring at me as if I was going to do it again and the teachers wouldn't let me out of their sight.

When I wouldn't stop harming myself and after two more suicide attempts, I got send away to a home so they could keep an eye on me twenty four seven, but I couldn't stand not being allowed to harm myself so I started to lash out at the staff.

'GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME'

I actually got thrown out for violent behaviour and got send to another one for 'highly disturbed' individuals, my family wasn't allowed to visit me at this home and I had a strap on my arm which was a sensor that monitored where I was, I also had an camera and they watched all day and if I tried anything a team would run in and stop me.

No one understood why I was doing it and I refused to talk about it, they didn't believe me the first time why would they believe me now and dad would come out and murder me ,either way I was trapped.

No one could help me unless they could get dad out my life forever but that was never going to happen.


	14. Chapter 14 - Ending It

Chapter 14 – Ending it

I remember sitting in my room at home having just got back from the place for disturbed teenagers as I was apparently 'cured' but nothing would ever cure me, the one only one way out and today it was going to happen.

I was going to commit suicide and this time succeed, I wrote a note to my beloved family , it was time for them to know the truth the note said

'I want you to know this is none of your faults, I love you all more than words can ever describe, mum, I love how strong you are with everything you have been through, Dyns I love how you are basically Barbie and shopping with you and my sweetie Kace you're my best friend in the whole world, PLEASE never change, but I was too badly hurt and damaged, I wasn't lying about dad hurting me and if I stayed I would not recover anyway and he would always be there, so I had to end it, don't be sad I am safe now and will never hurt again.

I miss you so much

Your Barry Barry xx

I went to the bathroom and took everything I needed, I wanted to be found so I left the door unlocked just hoping it wouldn't be one of my sisters, and I could do it now as they were all out, I stroked the picture of me with my girls taking one last look at their beautiful faces before I will never see them again, my mum, so strong and though can be horrible at times loves us kids more than life itself and is there through everything, My gorgeous Dynasty, so girly but so fiercely loyal of those she loves and so supportive, I will miss our fighting we both loved it really, it was our way of bonding, and My gorgeous Baby Kacey, so amazing in every way, nothing was more thrilling to me than playing football with her for hours on end, I will never forget them days when it was just the two of us they were the best days of my life.

I had tears running down my face and I had never being so scared in my life, but the was nothing left for me here, I picked up the gun the one I found in the shed all that time ago and put it to my head, I whispered 'I love you' to the air and then closing my eyes pulled the trigger.

XX

The Barry's returned home and it was Carol that found her little boy, her only boy dead on the floor, she cried and thought she was dreaming trying to shake him awake and thinking she would wake up soon, Dynasty and Kacey fell apart too, Dynasty and Carol cried for hours but poor Kacey was in too much shock she just sat there for hours in silence doing nothing, they read the note and all their relationships with Neil Barry ended that day but he would know he had won.

His funeral was beautiful the whole school turned up and on his gravestone it said 'Our Barry Barry the one and only, we all love you' he would of loved the funeral all the attention focused on him, Kacey finally fell apart when giving the speech she couldn't get through it but everyone knew what she meant she didn't have to say it but she still mangered to get through half of it

'My Brother was known as a bully and a troublemaker, but he was my hero, he was loyal and there through everything, he comforted me through the bad times and was there to play football with me at weekends and'

That was when she broke down

The family never got over his death but learned to live again and Neil Barry was send down for life for child abuse and causing murder, he had won but at least Barry Barry would never hurt again.


End file.
